God has been working on my heart, very diligently. He is trying to teach my stubborn heart and mind. This particular lesson is about gentleness. Gentleness in my voice, in the way I move about my day, and in how I treat family members.
I think, for many of us, we can treat strangers better then our own family a lot of the time. At least, that is my experience. Those that I live with on a daily basis get the worst end of the deal. I’ve known and have felt that this should surely not be the case. My family should get my best. The thing is, that is difficult for me.
I never saw gentleness modeled in my immediate family while growing up. I grew up in a house full of yelling, negativity and many put downs. I was never good enough. While I try, of my own power, to be gentle, it only lasts for a very short time. Then, I fall back on what is familiar and “normal” for me. The thing is, I don’t want this normal for my little family. I have never wanted this to be normal for my family.
God has been working tirelessly on me for several years now. After all this time, it’s starting to sink in. Gentleness. Softness. Quietness. These are the desires of my heart for my family. Discipline can be, and should be, done with a gentle quiet tone that is firm yet full of love.
I am thankful for a God that chases and never gives up. He wants this for me. He wants this for my family. I know I can’t do this for myself but He can in me. Oh how thankful I am!